Sometimes I eat my feelings

I'm a little behind on cataloging my dive into my old Saveur magazines.  I have all kinds of excuses including my laptop drowning (literally) and being a little overwhelmed with work/home stress.  But in the end, isn't that the best reason to slow down and cook?  I sort of think so.  I can't speak to anyone else's state of mind when cooking, but I sort of zone out to focus on the task.  My friends in psychiatry call this mindfulness.

So this week, well it just sucked.  No way around it.  The universe just really kicked me in the shins.  I sat down with some of these magazines a few nights ago, a stiff drink in hand, and I took one look at the title to this issue and I knew that I had found the recipe that I needed to cook.

Sometimes I need to go for a long run or a bike ride to shake off stress.  Sometimes, I need to cook brownies.  This is issue 113, September 2008.  This article discusses the history of the brownie.  Turns out the brownie's origins, like my own, are in New England so its no wonder that I have such an affinity for this confection.  I didn't grow up eating brownies though because my mom is allergic to chocolate.  This is a sad truth, but one for another day. The issue contains 3 recipes and I chose Katharine Hepburn's Brownies both because they are described as chewy, how I prefer mine, and because I think that Katharine Hepburn was a total badass.  Have you watched The African Queen?  If not, please do.

These were easy to make and so I burnt my tongue stealing a taster right out of the oven.  They were molten at that point and perfect, and painful, and delicious.  Which is sort of what I need when I'm feeling down.  I let them cool and stayed up late and in order to eat one without further injuring myself and you know what?  I actually feel a little better.